I advise the lawyers I coach that the cornerstone of business development, beyond providing exceptional service to current clients, lies in meeting people and fostering relationships. They understand this concept. However, when I inquire about their greatest challenge or fear, they often admit it’s the prospect of attending events or cocktail parties and meeting new people, as it makes them feel uncomfortable and triggers real feelings of insecurity.
Overcoming the insecurity of meeting new people and fostering relationships involves a mix of mindset shifts, practical strategies, and gradual exposure. Here’s some guidance:
Change Your Mindset: Start by reframing your perspective on social interactions. View each interaction as an opportunity to learn something new, rather than a test of your social or business development skills. Remember, most people are more focused on themselves than on judging others.
Prepare Conversation Starters: A few go-to topics or questions can ease the pressure of starting conversations. Ask open-ended questions that invite people to talk about themselves, such as their interests, work, or recent experiences.
Practice Active Listening: Show genuine interest in what others have to say. Active listening can make the other person feel valued and open the door to deeper connections. Nod, make eye contact, and ask follow-up questions based on their responses.
Embrace Small Wins: Set achievable goals for social situations, like introducing yourself to one new person or exchanging contact information with a potential contact. Celebrate these small victories to build confidence over time.
Develop a Positive Self-Image: Work on your self-confidence by focusing on your strengths and achievements. Engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself, and practice self-compassion.
Find Common Ground: Look for shared interests, experiences, or mutual acquaintances as a basis for conversation. Finding common ground can quickly turn a stranger into a familiar face.
Practice Regularly: Like any skill, social interaction improves with practice. Seek out networking events, workshops, or social gatherings that would include your practice area participants where you can practice meeting new people in a low-pressure environment.
Learn to Handle Rejection: Not every interaction will lead to a meaningful connection, and that’s okay. Learn to view rejection not as a personal failure, but as a natural part of the process.
Seek Support: If anxiety or insecurity feels overwhelming, consider seeking support from a coach or therapist. Sometimes, underlying issues like social anxiety can benefit from professional guidance.
In conclusion, keep in mind that cultivating relationships for business growth is a long-term endeavor, not a quick race. Exercise patience and acknowledge that every encounter represents progress in enhancing your networking abilities and establishing a solid network of valuable connections that hopefully will lead to new work, either through direct engagement or through referrals, in the future.
If you are a lawyer who is hesitant about business development or simply needs help taking it to the next level, I would be happy to have a complementary conversation with you to discuss how coaching can help and answer your questions. Send me an email and we can set up a time to speak: larry.stroud@korverge.com
I do ‘Business Development’ coaching. Not life coaching. Not career coaching. It is focused on business development through client development, client retention and winning new clients. I bring over 25 years’ experience in professional services. I have been a partner in two international firms and for more than 15 years have been a business development coach for lawyers. My clients include national law firms, regional firms, small one office firms, specialized boutique firms and solo. I am based in Toronto and have worked in a number of countries.